Monday, September 19, 2005

Looks like this is it...

P got the call yesterday from his family that my mother-in-law stopped breathing a few times yesterday and that she is progressively shutting down even further. The hospice nurse that is caring for her doesn't expect her to survive more than another day or two.

Even though we saw this coming, it's not going to make it any easier when it actually does happen. For E, I'm happy that it's almost over, because apparently she's in a lot of pain right now, and is very anxious and upset.

However, I am so sad for my husband and my brothers and sisters-in-law, particularly for my father-in-law who hasn't even conceptualized the idea of life without his wife yet and what he is going to do now, for all my nieces and nephews that are losing their first grandparent, for all of us that will have to come to know life after her , and for my children that will never ever know what a wonderful person that she is and what a wonderful life she led.

And I am sad for me. Thanksgiving will never be the same again without her. I'll never taste her tamales again at Christmas. I'll never get to make her another pineapple upside down cake. She'll never get to hold her next grandchild in her arms. She'll never come over for dinner, which was one of my hopes after we got the house all done. She won't come to my shower. Even though she is my mother-in-law and not my true mother, she's more a part of my life than my actual mother is and I'm going to miss her terribly.

And I can't believe that P and I are already losing a parent. The best year of our life will always be coupled with the worst year of our life, and if I could do anything to make it not so, I would.

Please keep us in your prayers this week and I'll post an update when we get the call.

As for me pregnancy-wise, I'm fine...just extremely uncomfortable. I spent the day yesterday cleaning the house, and I paid for it all night last night...every muscle and bone in my body is aching this morning and I couldn't get comfortable to save my life last night.

I have repairmen coming this morning to repair the vinyl floor again since the repair that they originally did didn't work and the tear is lifting up, and we bought a new washing machine Saturday that hopefully will be delivered sometime in the next few days. Our washer is still working but it's making dreadful noises when we use it, and I'll really hate myself if we don't buy one and then all of a sudden the thing explodes during the spin cycle and floods our house. Our Wilsonart laminate flooring is pretty darn good, but it won't survive a flood, and neither will our cabinets, furniture, new kitchen flooring, etcetera.

Anyway, that's the status for me. I'm going to work very hard today to get a lot done in the event that I have to take the rest of the week off.

13 Comments:

Anonymous Crystal said...

You and your family are in my thoughts.

6:50 AM  
Blogger Rani said...

You and P are in my prayers. *hugs*

7:16 AM  
Blogger Christine said...

Erica, you and P are in my thoughts. ((Hugs))

8:02 AM  
Anonymous Melissa said...

(((((hugs)))))

9:22 AM  
Anonymous Mary said...

My prayers to you and your family.

11:30 AM  
Blogger Lynn said...

Oh Erica....I am so sorry. My prayers are with you and your family! If you need anything, let me know....even if it is a listening ear.

3:25 PM  
Blogger Bellastitch said...

((((hugs)))

5:15 PM  
Blogger Erin said...

Thinking of all of you. {{hugs}}

5:36 PM  
Anonymous Elaine said...

Erica,

You are in my prayers as well. I lost my mother on September 5th. Even though she had been in hospice for almost a year, she did so well some of the time that we thought she was going to lick it. I know exactly how you feel.

Huge hugs,

Elaine

5:39 PM  
Blogger Sharon said...

You know where to find me if you need me...(((((Hugs)))))

6:39 PM  
Anonymous Phyllis said...

I'm so sorry you have to go through this, especially at this point in your life. Sometimes things just don't seem fair. You are in my prayers--

4:38 AM  
Blogger Shannon said...

You and P are in my thoughts. I send you both a big hug from NC.

5:47 AM  
Anonymous tcottontail said...

A big (((((HUG))))) to both you and P from Michigan!

1:37 PM  

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