Monday, April 18, 2005

Houston, I HEARD the heartbeat!

I had my first official appointment with my doctor and she listened for the heartbeat, not really expecting to hear it since I'm nine weeks and usually it's not audible until 10-11 weeks, and we heard it! She said that it's registering about 170 beats per minute. It was nice and loud...quite a moment. I wish P had been there to enjoy it, but duty calls...he was on the golf course.

My own blood pressure is still pretty good...120/80. My uterus is right where it should be and everything looks good. She also feels pretty confident that this crud that I have is not a cold since my snot is clear (is that overshare or what?) but is allergies, so she wrote me a prescription for Zyrtec and Nasonex. I feel like I'm drying up, sort of.

The only bad thing that happened was that I got a stern lecture about my weight gain.

According to my doctor's scale (which I feel like is unfair since they weighed me this time with my boots on and last time I had flops on), I have gained twelve pounds since my follow-up appointment in January after my miscarriage. Okay, yes, I gained 10 lbs with the first pregnancy. Yes, I gained about 7 lbs out of sheer depression from losing my first pregnancy. But according to MY SCALE, I've only gained five with this pregnancy. Scale, schmale, my doc told me that she'd be happy if I didn't gain another single solitary pound during my entire pregnancy.

Wtf!?!? I thought an average weight gain during every pregnancy was 25-30 lbs. So I asked her that, and her response was, "Yes, that's true for people that weren't significantly overweight before they got pregnant."

And then it hit me. Let me tell you, it SUCKS to be called fat by your DOCTOR.

So I went into the whole thing about how I was a weight lifter, have a massive amount of muscle, was registered at 20% body fat when I weighed 161, etcetera, and I could tell it just wasn't flying with her and that she just thought it was a bunch of excuses, and the tears started to roll. With all the stress over miscarrying, being sick, tired, and now getting used to a new boss, now I have to start worrying about my weight AGAIN?! I kind of was looking forward to not having to think about it for another six months or so, and now I've got to worry about it. Again. After I started to cry, she quickly reassured me that if I am doing all that I can to ensure that I am eating well, exercising with some sort of aerobic activity every day, and getting back to the gym at least 3 x a week, and I still put on some weight, we'll discuss it, but she wants me back in the gym so I can "get my weight under control", but I have strict instructions not to diet. How in the name of Zeus' thunderbolt am I supposed to accomplish that?

I did have a flash of switching doctors since I just think this is ridiculous, but I've switched doctors twice already. This doctor knows my history. The office and hospital is right around the corner. I really have no desire to switch again. And as she said and P pointed out, she's just trying to recommend what's best, even if it makes me totally insane in the process.

So now I am left to contemplate just how I am going to work out, eat well withOUT dieting, and be pregnant at the same time. THIS SUCKS. But I am SO very thankful that everything is good with the baby and that there is a heartbeat...that really made my day. My doctor feels that my chances of miscarrying at this point are very very tiny indeed...and they went ahead and scheduled all my monthly checkups through July. She wants to do the big ultrasound around 18 weeks, which is about mid-June. Only eight more weeks to wait.

And as sure as I was that I would find out what I was having, I'm now tossing around the idea of just being surprised...which would be fun too. One of my friends at work, J, agreed to host my baby shower for that's exciting. Things are starting to click into place.


Blogger Rachel said...

Erica, at the risk of giving out assvice, I would seriously, seriously consider switching doctors. I was siginificantly overweight when I was pregnant with Katie, and every "new" pregnant woman went to a nutritianist at her first appointment. I had it explained to me in no uncertain terms that weight gain was to be expected within that pregnancy. And, because I had lost about 20 pounds in the two months before I got pregnant, that it was probably going to happen that I gained back those 20 on top of everything else. In fact, I had very severe morning sickness to the point where my weight was stable for the first 6 months and I was shoved back into the nutritianist's office and she promptly told me I needed to be gaining weight.

Of course, ymmv, but I think if you're upset at being constantly lectured and your getting rather odd advice, it wouldn't hurt ti look into another doctor. Especially as you have some obsessive issues about eating. She is either voluntarily or involuntarily feeding in to those issues, and that can not be good for your mental health.

8:14 PM  
Blogger Erin said...

I have to agree with Rachel. I weighed (can't believe I'm about to post this in public) 220 when I got pregnant, and I was expressly told that I should gain 20-25 pounds. Granted, I gained more than that, but that's not the point. And it is physically impossible for you to not gain any more weight for this pregnancy. I've kept my mouth shut about various assundry of this doctor's practices (like not seeing a doctor until this visit; unless it was just a blood pressure check (because mine was running high), I saw a doctor (not a nurse, not a PA; MD!) EVERY SINGLE visit), but based on this latest evidence, I would totally switch doctors. Talk with some of your friends who have had children recently (if you have some; I didn't), ask on the boards you frequent (TW related or otherwise), but this sounds highly unusual to me. And that thing with the weight is just *wrong,* according to every single thing I've read. Your blood supply has not increased yet (it will increase by 50%), your uterus will continue to get bigger (i.e. put on weight), the placenta will continue to grow (adding more), and the baby and amniotic fluid alone should weigh roughly 10 pounds! No way you can do that and not gain any more weight. It's not worth you being stressed either. That won't help anything at all, especially your blood pressure. IMHO, you should switch, and do it now. I know it's a PITA, but this is so very important. Is this something you want to put up with every month, then every week (you go that much towards the end)? Is this how you want to be treated in the hospital when you're giving birth? I just don't think your mental health is worth that, let alone your physical well being. {{{hugs}}}

8:37 PM  
Blogger Christine said...

I've never had a child, but I can't imagine that a doctor would tell you to not gain any weight over the course of your pregnancy! That's virtually impossible.

As for the comments about you being overweight...I saw your Body for Life page when it was still available, and you do not look at all overweight to me! Muscle weighs more, but you look totally in proportion and healthy.

Really, Erica, if you feel uncomfortable with this doctor, I think you should switch. As for her knowing your history...a new doctor will know that as soon as he/she gets a copy of your record from this doctor. You have to feel comfortable with this! Stress is not going to help your pregnancy.

(Just my 2 cents, I hope I didn't overstep my bounds)

8:47 PM  
Blogger Rani said...

I'm going to agree with the rest of your commenters. It will be impossible for you to not gain anymore weight during this pregnancy. I was considerably heavier than you are with both of my pregnancies. I gained 20 with each. My doctor said that is the average for someone that already has fat stores. My girlfriend who weighed 98 pounds when she got pregnant gained 60 pounds. 60.

No matter what, the health of your little one and you are the most important. You shouldn't be made to feel guilty about the amount of weight you gain. And if she does make you feel that way it is going to be a long remaining 7 months. =(

Hang in there. We are all here to support you.


9:38 PM  
Blogger Sher said...

If you can go through your whole pregnancy and not gain another pound then I want to know the secret. Seriously, you have to gain weight. Geez, I think they baby alone will be from 7-8 pounds and add the placenta and everything else and you will definitely have to put some weight on.
I gained 45 pounds with DS (granted I lost 23 in water weight after he was born because I had pre-eclampsia, but that's another story). Sorry, but I think this doctor is a little whacked to think you can not gain another pound for the rest of your pregnancy. Has she ever had kids??????

4:09 AM  
Anonymous Melissa said...

I just emailed you (before I read these comments) - I completely agree with everyone.

Weight is weight - you can always lose it later (and we know you can do that!). Damage to your psyche isn't as easily remedied. Please switch.

6:07 AM  
Blogger Gosia said...

I wonder if this doctor has an issue with weight gain/loss? What she said sounds simply stupid. Even if you were considered overweight (which of course you're not carrying muscles) you would still be expected to gain weight, just a bit less than average. But even if you gain above average, so what? You will have more to lose afterwards, but so what?
Not gaining any more weight, would mean, that in fact you would be losing around 20 lbs. It's ridiculous.

6:23 AM  
Blogger Sharon said...

I'm not saying anything else that I haven't already said. You know exactly how I feel on this subject. But I love you no matter what you decide to do. (((((Hugs)))))

6:23 AM  
Blogger Mia said...

Erica, I have to agree with everything written here. I have never, ever been told to not gain weight or "diet" during my pregnancies. With DS I weighed 172 at the time and stopped looking at the scale when it topped 210. The dr. told me I gained over 40 lbs. I had pre-eclamsia and while that was a concern, she never told me to stop eating or to watch my weight. I couldn't stop it from happening as it was mostly water gain. With DD, I weighed in at 140 and went to 170 with a 30 lb weight gain. I did not have the pre-eclamsia then and ate well and watched my sodium and fat intake. She never said I gained too much. The only exercise she recommended for me was walking or light exercise.

I would seriously consider finding a new doctor. It doesn't take a dr. to tell you that you need extra nutrients during your pregnancy. Yes you are eating for two and the baby needs the extra. Sorry, but I think dieting during a preganancy is not only going to make you sick but it could very well not make the baby thrive the way it should. You really do need the extras for you and for baby.

I am not a doctor or in the medical profession but I am a mom and went through this twice and I don't like what your dr. told you at all.

6:46 AM  
Blogger KariA1 said...

I agee with everyone here. You will gain weight.. it is a fact of pregnancy. I was told 25-35 was healthy. I was also lectured for having gained 6 pounds between visits. It turned out that the scale the doc was using was wrong broken. They also never let me take my shoes off and I got weighed at different times of the day. I started going by my own scale and monitoring it that way by weighing myself at the same time every day. I gained about 40 pounds total. The last 10 was all water weight. I was very swollen. I lost about 25lbs almost immiediately after giving birth. So you tell me if that was fat or not. As long as you are eating healthy and exercising like you have been you will be fine. Do not let this get to you. Enjoy being pregnant and getting to know that little one who will be wiggling inside you soon! Delight in the fact that you heard the wonderful heartbeat.

7:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok, I agree with everyone about the weight gain issue. HOWEVER, the doctor said she would be HAPPY if you didn't gain another pound. She realizes that it isn't possible for you to go the whole pregnancy without gaining. But she isn't looking at how you look dear, she is looking at the strain on your body. She is looking at your blood pressure getting too high with weight gain and going toxic on her. Bad for you and the baby! I believe that she is only saying - don't diet - just watch WHAT you eat - make it healthy food, which I know that you know what that is. I'm on your side Erica.

8:40 AM  
Blogger Jill in CA said...

(((((Erica)))) I think your doctor was being unreasonable to tell you to not gain *any* more weight during your pregnancy. For goodness sakes, aren't you only 10 weeks?? There are roughly 30 weeks left and the baby alone will grow a lot during that time.

I got lectured about my weight when I was pregnant, but then, I did gain about 60 pounds while pregnant (I had lost weight shortly before getting pregnant, but still, I mostly just ate whatever I wanted and didn't exercise at *all*). While one shouldn't gain *60* pounds while pregnant, 30 is expected. I know that you know how to choose healthy foods and as long as you are eating healthily and getting some minor-moderate activity (walking and swimming are good) then you should be fine!! Please don't let the doctor get you down, and even though you've already switched doctors before it would be better to switch than have her lecture you for the next 6-7 months. Take care!!

9:32 AM  
Anonymous Sharon L. said...

Hi Erica,
I usually lurk around your blog. But today I couldn't resist making a comment. I personally think all doctor's office scales are off, just so they can say their paitents are overweight and it gives them something to lecture you about. I think it would have been more reasonable for her to to tell you to try and limit your weight gain to about 20-25 pounds. You are going to gain weight. To gain no weight at all is impossible! Don't stress-you will be fine. I am so glad things are going well.

9:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just wanted to chime in with the comments that your doctor isn't looking at your weight gain from a beauty point of view but a health (both yours and the babys) point of view. I would personally take her advice but with a pinch of salt (not literally!). Eat well (wholesome, non-processed food) and get some regular exercise but don't stress too much over it.
I'm so glad you and the baby are doing well.

11:24 AM  
Blogger Belinda said...

I am glad to hear you heard a strong heartbeat!! Happy dancing here!

I'll chime in with everyone else and say that it's the baby you need to be concerned about - eat healthy and when you gain weight, gain weight! Don't worry about it - people gain at different rates.

If it helps any, 45 lb with DD, and that was with her being born 6 weeks early! She's a very healthy and happy girl at almost 6 now, and I was able to take off the weight after I stopped nursing. (Now, I've gained it all back, but that's another story...)

6:06 PM  
Blogger Autumn said...

I have to say I'm fairly surprised that your doctor would tell you to work out, especially considering your prior miscarriage. When I got pregnant the second time I was doing BFL and my doctor told me to stop. He said that the benefits that would come from rigorous exercise was not worth the potential problems that it could create. Several of the baby books I read too mention eliminating aerobic exercise for the duration of the pregnancy. My doctor's guide was that you shouldn't be out of breath and you shouldn't be sweating profusely.

If your doctor makes you cry then that isn't the doctor you should have.

6:24 AM  
Blogger Not me said...

How awful! I would definitely find another doctor. You don't need the stress!

8:19 AM  

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