Bedrest

I guess I should be careful what I wish for, because I might actually get it.

This morning I woke up and my feet, while they didn't look QUITE as bad, were still very puffy. My doctor's office opens at 8:30 so I got ready for work like usual and drove to my office, and called them from the car. They put me on hold while they talked to my doctor and told me to come in to have my blood pressure, weight and urine checked.

I got there, and my blood pressure has shot up from a nice low 100/70 to a borderline 130/90, which in itself I guess is not a concern, but it's how MUCH it's increased that is a concern to them, as well as the fact that I've gained 11# in the last five days, I'm not peeing as much as a pregnant woman should be, and my feet look like water balloons.

So, starting today I'm on bedrest. I can still work as long as I do it FROM BED with my feet up, and I can still go to my pregnancy massage today, but other than that, I'm to be lying down with my feet up. They are going to still do my ultrasound tomorrow and I have to collect ALL my urine in this gas container-thingy starting tomorrow at 8, and then my final doctor's appointment is going to be on Wednesday.

My doctor told my nurse to tell me to start seriously getting ready for induction, so it looks like this is it! Think good thoughts for me!

Another happy day in pregnancy land

I woke up this morning in tears. No reason. Just very teary and emotional. It's got to be the hormones.

My feet are swelling to record sizes. I can NOT believe how puffy and swollen they are. Every time I think that they are the worst they have ever looked, the next day surpasses the day before. Walking around (or should I say, waddling around) is starting to be a new challenge.

The only productive thing I accomplished today was writing thank you notes for my shower on Thursday. Other than that, I was parked on the couch with my feet up ALL day. It still didn't help.

P and I went out to dinner tonight to celebrate our sixth anniversary, which was fun. Who knows, maybe it's our last dinner out before the baby comes. And I started to cry at dinner when I was talking about how much I miss walking the dogs. Yup, hormones are a wonderful thing.

I spent Saturday night scrapbooking with D, the crack dealer...I finished four more pages on our Cancun trip, and they look so great. I have a few more to finish and then I'm going to start on something else, probably my pregnancy scrapbook. I want to put my ultrasound pics, shower pics, nursery remodeling, cards, ribbons, belly shots, etcetera, in one place, so I can share them with McKenna when she's older. I even took a picture of my feet to show her what fun she has to look forward to, since apparently this glorious water retention thing is something that I've inherited from my mother.

And I have a plethora of other pregnancy whines to report that just are too graphic for a blog, so I'll keep them to myself. Let it suffice to say that P and I are not celebrating our anniversary with what got me into this condition to begin with and leave it at that, shall we?

McKenna...I'm ready to meet you and so is your father. Make an early appearance...please! I will let you nurse on me all you want. I have a new Boppy with a cloud slipcover and two velour covers all ready for you. I got that lilac luxe blanket that I've been wanting and it is ultra-soft and plush...you'll love being wrapped in it. I can't wait to see you, hold you, and smell your sweet skin. I only have two weeks and five days until my official due date, but I promise, you'll love our house and Katie and Simon can't wait to see you, even if they don't know it yet! (Although they know something's up...they just can't understand why Mom can't walk them anymore.)

More tomorrow. The highlight of my day tomorrow is the pregnancy massage at 4:30. We bought a ton of Halloween candy to pass out to the kids, but I've already told P he's on candy duty tomorrow night...I can not handle getting up and down off the couch all night.

Happy Halloween, everyone. I'll try not to be such a voice of gloom and doom tomorrow.

Crackbooking

So I went over to my friend D's last night for a night of stitching and scrapbooking...and she is now my official crack dealer. I am HOOKED. There was no stitching involved...although two of the other girls managed to get in a little bit...I worked on my first pages, and managed to finish THREE with a LOT of help from D. It was fabulous. I had decided that I would start with something fairly easy, so I ordered stuff to do my Cancun trip pictures from 1997 which are nice and bright and easy to pick stuff to go with. It was SO much fun, and I ordered a bunch of stuff to start a baby album from D next.

Yup, I'm hooked. I need a new blinkie to show that I'm a scrapping addict now. I can't believe it. Scrapbooking is one thing that I said I would never do or get hooked on, but it's amazing what you want to learn how to do when you are getting ready to be a parent. In fact, it's amazing how much about you does change when you are getting ready to be a parent.

I didn't come home last night till three am, hence the reason why I'm just posting this now. I woke up around 9:30 am when some Jehovah's Witnesses banged on our door and then fell asleep on the couch and just woke up a little while ago.

My plan for today? Absolutely nothing other than doing laundry (since it's taking over the house), going to Babies R Us to return the Boppy and get the luxe blankie, hopefully stopping by Michael's to check out THEIR scrapbooking stuff, writing lots of thank you notes from the shower Thursday, and trying very hard to stay off my feet as much as possible as they are swelling up more and more every day. Last night after I came home, they looked the worst they have ever looked...I sat at my desk all day, which was bad, and then sat at a table all night and scrapbooked, which was worse. But it was SO worth it, and they do look somewhat normal this morning. Somewhat.

Anyway, no signs yet of labor starting. I did have contractions for about an hour and a half Thursday night, but since they were fifteen minutes apart, very short (five to ten seconds) and went away, I didn't do anything, and obviously they weren't the real deal, because MCKENNA IS STILL IN MY STOMACH! But mentioning it to my boss was enough to worry him, and he was like, "Okay, get all your stuff done that you have in progress as soon as possible." He he he. Maybe that'll lighten the load a bit, so to speak. I really think I have enough on my desk right now to keep me busy for the next two weeks, and I don't need anything else.

Tomorrow is our anniversary...we will have been married for six years. I can not believe it. It seems like just yesterday that we were married! Well, okay, not yesterday. But it does not feel like it's been six years. Not at all. We don't even know what we are going to do...probably will just run out for a quick bite to eat and that's it. P is not feeling really well right now...sore throat, itchy, achy, tired...just in general feeling like crapola. I don't anticipate the weekend being terribly busy for that main reason.

The burrito blanket

The shower today was a huge success, even though I did not get my lilac luxe blankie. It's all right though...we got another Boppy, which is awesome, but we have a Boppy already AND My Brest Friend. I definitely don't need a second Boppy. So it's going back to the store and I'm getting the blankie myself. Heck, I might just get two of them since they are so soft!

Not that I need it in ANY way. We got eight more blankets today, so now I have a total of twenty-three. And a couple of burp cloths, TONS of pink clothes (we are SO screwed if McKenna decides to be Diego), a dishwasher basket, some pacifiers, a sheet for the pack and play, a frame, a stuffed animal, a teether, a gift card for $75 to Babies R Us which is earmarked for diapers, two packs of Huggies, and best of all, a swaddler, also known as the burrito blanket. It was truly a great shower. They had a cake and punch there and cream puffs and it was just great fun. And a $100 gift card arrived today from my aunt and uncle to Target...also earmarked for diapers.

I know it had to have been SO weird for a few of P's coworkers though. For those of you who don't know, my husband and I met when we worked at the same insurance company over nine years ago. Four of the ladies that P works with today knew P and I before we started dating, saw us get engaged, were there at our wedding shower, and now they are giving us a BABY SHOWER! How surreal! But it was so much fun. My ankles are paying me back now by swelling to astronomical proportions, but it was worth it for sure.

So anyway...that was my day. Not much really to report. I still worked a full day of hours and got quite a bit accomplished...and I think my office is starting to realize that yes, I am going out on leave eventually. I'm starting to get the "what are we going to do without you?" questions. I keep reassuring them all that YES, I am definitely coming back to work in January, but I think some of them don't believe me and think that I'll change my mind. Nope. Not going to happen.

Thanks to everyone for all the supportive comments in my blog...I really appreciate it! It's great to know I have lots of readers out there! I'm feeling pretty good this week. I'm only waking up about 1-2 times a night which is a huge improvement, my fingers are really hurting but Tylenol and my braces are keeping my carpal tunnel at bay, and last night I booked a pregnancy massage for Monday, so that'll be lots of fun.

Happy Friday, everyone!

The crazy pregnant lady and the three amigos

Well, it finally happened. I yelled at someone at the office today. I knew it was coming.

Just this past weekend, I was telling some friends at dinner how lucky I was to be working for my company right now in my last month. They are giving me complete freedom with my wardrobe...I have gotten away with T-shirts, capri pants, and *gasp* flip flops. They don't say anything when I show up at 8:45 instead of the 8 they asked for. And even though my doctor hasn't technically taken me off field work, they aren't making me go out into the field right now at ALL. It's fabulous.

But this week they seem to have decided that I'm a dumping ground...a dumping ground for all the adjusters that are on hurricane duty, for the ones that have quit or have a foot out the door, and for the ones (like the one I yelled at) that are just plain and simple behind on their work. I walked in today to a LIST of crap from this adjuster who just isn't keeping it together whatsoever right now, and after she basically blind-transferred me a call on one of her claims, making it seem like I'm the reason why that claim hasn't been concluded instead of owning up to her mistake and admitting that she's the reason, I just couldn't take it anymore and exploded.

It would SO serve them right if I went into labor right now and left them with a pile of work! I'm being really careful not to bring any work home from the office...just my laptop since I can't leave it there. I'm even going to clean out my Magnum tomorrow so that if I happen to go into labor while I'm at work, someone just has to drive me the entire fifteen minutes to my hospital and then they can bring the car back to the office. Perfect.

I had my 37 week appointment today. It went fine, except that my doctor informed me that I'm stuck with the three amigos (see my fertility journal if you're really curious) not only up UNTIL my birth, but after too since no doctor will come near me until at least a week or so post-partum. Lovely. But she did write me a prescription for some lovely drugs that hopefully will get rid of the problem. As for everything else, well, I'm still retaining tons of water (big surprise), my blood pressure is still EXTREMELY low but they want me to watch for signs of preeclampsia since my feet and hands are so puffy, and since my daughter is still growing like a weed and measuring huge, they just wanted to be sure that I'm aware that if I start having contractions, bleeding, water breaking, etcetera, I should go right to the hospital. Do not call her first, do not pass Go, do not collect $200. Just go and she'll meet me there. Yes, I'm aware that I'm on the verge of labor.

But do you know when you realize that you are sick of being pregnant?

-When you sigh silently at the sound of someone asking you for the umpteenth time when your due date is
-When you are VERY tired of telling people that you are having a girl
-When you avoid making eye contact with people in the bathroom just so you won't get the "poor pregnant lady" looks
-When the lady at Dunkin Donuts says, "You're still pregnant?" (As per tradition, I stopped after my doctor's appointment today for a doughnut, and since they are at the same time of day every time, the same lady is there every time.)
-When your office manager says, "You're moving SLOW" as you amble by his office and your first reaction is to walk in his office and poke his eyes out
-When your maternity pants won't stay up because your belly is too big but your maternity shirts won't cover your belly either and you're left flashing the office with about three inches of skin

I just have to be social for ONE more day...my husband's office is giving us a baby shower tomorrow. What I could possibly need at this point other than lots and lots and lots of diapers, I have no idea, but there is something I want that I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I get. There's a lilac luxe blankie on my Babies R Us registry. I refuse to buy it on principle because I have fifteen blankies already and I don't need a sixteenth. But it's SO pretty and soft and I love it...dare I hope someone got it for me?

Tune in tomorrow for the answer!

Oh, and it looks like my dreams of being back in the gym pushing iron a week after the birth are, ahem, not going to happen. My doc told me today that I can get back to walking at the gym as soon as I feel up to it (the day I go home if I want), but that she doesn't want me doing any upper body weight work until four weeks post-partum and absolutely NO lower body weights until six weeks post-partum...and this is of course assuming that I won't have to have a Caesarean.

Oh, well. Looks like my dreams of turning into Linda Hamilton with a baby are not going to happen...at least, not before I return to work in January!

I ordered a rocker...

I should have known to check Wally World! I found a rocker for about $110 at Wal-Mart tonight after I wrote in my blog, and since the DFW area participates in site-to-store, I get free shipping. If I end up not using it, it's not a big deal...at least I didn't spend $300 on it like the one I was eyeing tonight at Target.

Then, I used a $20 gift certificate some friends at work gave me to order an inexpensive CD player for the nursery.

So, she can't come now for at least seven to ten business days until my new toys get here.

I have ONE last baby shower to go to on Thursday...my husband's company is giving us a shower...and I'm excited about it but can't possibly imagine what we could get that we would need except for MORE DIAPERS! It's probably a good thing that I don't have any more showers though...my hands are so puffy, I had trouble writing thank-you notes tonight.

The gift of silence

Well, another week is here. What can I say about it?

I've started to realize the gift of silence. I've eaten lunch by myself two days out of the last week, and I've found it to be quite a relief. Today I ate lunch at La Madeleine all by myself. It was heaven. Don't get me wrong...I really enjoy eating lunch with friends from work, but lately it seems like the discussion is either how badly understaffed we are at our office at the moment because of all the hurricanes or my pregnancy and how I look like I'm ready to explode at any moment.

But one of the nice things that I've noticed the two times that I've eaten alone is that my daughter seems to be very active when I'm eating. It's kind of a nice little moment...just me and McKenna sharing lunch.

I guess I should be happy that I'm liking that, because we're going to be together for a LOT of meals!

We went to Best Buy yesterday and I bought three child's CDs...Disney lullabies, Disney Princess lullabies, and a CD of music inspired by Finding Nemo. So then I went on a tear pulling ALL my kids' CDs and classical CDs out of our holder and moving them into our nursery on the top shelf of my bookshelf, and now I'm determined that I want an inexpensive CD player for the nursery so I can play music for her.

I really wish that I could get a rocker for nursing to put in the nursery, but I can't find a reasonable one under $279 with the ottoman. It's just ridiculous how much these things are. I'm going to look for a used one and see what I can find, but otherwise, I have a feeling I'm going to be spending a lot of time nursing her on the couch in the living room.

Not much to say today...I know, it's a boring entry. I slept well last night, I woke up today and my shirts won't cover my belly anymore, I bought a nursing camisole tonight at Target, and my belly is itching something awful. That's about the extent of my excitement.

Big baby! Or watermelon?

I honestly had NO idea I had grown this much in four weeks.

Here I am at 32 weeks...this was taken the weekend before my shower:



And here I am today at 36 weeks, ready to POP.



Ugh. At least now I know where that extra weight that my scale is reading is coming from. This is going to be one big baby.

So...anyone care to take a guess at when McKenna is going to make her appearance? My husband and I are guessing (hoping?) November 4. My dad is predicting November 1. My doctor, God love her, will make NO prediction other than to tell me that she'll meet me at the hospital.

Now what do I do?

Boredom is sinking in. I'm so restless and ready for the baby to come, but yet I don't want her to because I want my work plans to stay JUST so...six weeks off at full pay, two weeks off with no pay or working from home (my company is going to let me know in December) and then two weeks off of vacation, returning to work around January 16 or so.

So let's recap. There's no way I'm getting Noah's Sub done in time, and I can't stitch on anything on my 11" Q snaps anyway...it's just too awkward with my belly out to here. I started Celtic Heart last night by M Designs, which was fine, but after an hour my hands started to hurt and I put it away. My Christmas cards are completely done. My baby announcement envelopes are completely addressed. My nursery is done with the exception of the swing being assembled and my bouncer put together. My house is relatively clean, but I need to do some laundry and some picking up. I have read pretty much all of my baby books except for finishing Breast Feeding For Dummies (which I don't want to read anymore...it's freaking me out). I did start What to Expect the First Year which is good, but I'm kind of on baby information overload. I don't have much to do with work right now...I'm having to ask the other adjusters for stuff to do and they are keeping things very low key right now just in case I go into labor at any minute. I can't really get out and walk around...I can't wear any of my shoes except my flip flops, and being on my feet for more than 45 minutes at a time causes them to blow up like balloons. My scrapbooking stuff hasn't arrived yet, so I'm patiently waiting for that.

So what do I do? Just lie in bed and watch television until McKenna decides to make her appearance? Before a bunch of you comment, YES, I know that I should enjoy this quiet time because it's coming to an end very soon, but I'm BORED! And restless!!!

We have a dinner date tonight at Abuelo's, which will be fun, and I'm sure I'll sink into a food coma when I come home, but what I do for now in the next six hours until dinner is a mystery.

I guess I'll go start some laundry.

Almost there!

What a busy morning! I now have a pediatrician, I am preregistered at the hospital (so I just SHOW UP) and I saw one of the labor rooms so I know where I am going to be delivering. No food or water, unfortunately, or a DVD player, but they will let me wear my own clothes if I want and will store a bottle of sparkling wine so I can toast with P after my daughter comes into the world.

Here's where I am at the moment:

-baby is measuring at 38 cm (tape measure)
-I'm 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced
-my blood pressure is just fine and very low
-HER blood pressure was high...about 160, but the doctor thinks it's because I was running around the hospital doing all that stuff before I came in which I normally don't do before my appointments and because I ate about an hour before my appointment...I usually wait and eat after my doctor's appointments
-I tested negative for strep so no antibiotics
-the fluid that I've been leaking the last few days that I've been blogging and journaling about is just normal discharge and not amniotic fluid like I feared
-she was able to feel the baby's head when she checked my cervix (There's actually a BABY IN THERE!!!!!)
-I'm retaining TONS of water...she confirmed it after looking at my feet, my hands, and of course, the scale. It wouldn't surprise me if I'm retaining 20 lbs of water. My mom had the same problem when she was preggers with me...my dad said she lost like 35 lbs in the 48 hours after I was born.

AND...this the scariest of all......

she told me that after Friday (36 weeks exactly for me) I could go into labor, start contractions, have my water break, and they WOULD not stop it.

Oh, my goodness. This is so close. I need to clean! I need to pack my bag! I need to shop!

So here's the question for you veterans after hearing my stats...how likely is it that I'm going to have this kid in the next two weeks?

I tried to pin down my doctor and she absolutely would NOT say...she just smiled a little smile and said that if my water breaks or if I have contractions 3-5 minutes apart for an hour, get my bag and go to the hospital and get ready to become a MOM! Ideally, I'd LOVE to have the baby (if I had my choice) the weekend of November 4-6...so my maternity leave would start on November 7. Any earlier than that, it's really going to screw up my plan for returning to work! If I had known there was a chance of me going out earlier than the middle of November, I would have saved vacation time to use at the end of the year, but the way my company works, you are out on LOA FIRST and then use your vacation time after your sick time is used up, and if my sick time ran into 2006, I would have lost my 2005 vacation time, so I took a chance.

Anyway, she's moving like crazy and I'm trying to stay calm and not get too excited!

Am I lifting weights or am I pregnant?

The reason why I ask is because my legs and joints and thighs hurt SO much right now, I feel like I've been doing lunges. It's crazy. I have been walking around my office like an old lady.

Nothing much has changed in the last twenty-four hours...other than that. I came home today again wondering if I'm leaking amniotic fluid but decided just to wait it out until I get in to see my doctor in the morning. I am SO hoping that she decides to move my ultrasound up tomorrow. My neighbor said it best today when I came home from work...she asked if they had moved my due date up yet, and I told her that she was measuring two weeks ahead and that they were going to do an ultrasound at 38 weeks. My neighbor scratched her head and asked, "So...doesn't that mean she should do the ultrasound now if you're almost 36 weeks?"

My wonderment exactly.

I'll keep you all posted tomorrow. Right now, I'm off to bed to snooze and wait patiently for the morning...where I hope to preregister at the hospital, take a tour of Labor and Delivery, and get the card for the pediatrician I want to treat McK...all before my doctor appointment at 9:30!

DAZZLED!

Okay, so we were dazzled. Quite dazzled.

We went and toured Primrose today (our second daycare option) and let me tell you, this is not daycare. THIS IS PRIVATE SCHOOL. Both P and I were SO impressed, all we could do was walk around with our mouths open. They were cordial and nice. Almost every employee has their kids going there. They are spic and span clean. They answered every question we had before the question even arose in our brains. It was amazing.

We walked out the door, turned to each other, and said, "That's it."

It also has the added bonus of being less than seven minutes from our house, less than TWO from my brother-in-law's house, and right around the corner from the hospital where McKenna will be born and where her pediatrician will be.

Score!

So, McKenna is now on the list to be added to the infant room in January. We have her spot secured. Even though I know that the first day is going to be the toughest to leave her, I think that I will breathe easier knowing what a wonderful place she will be, what good people are caring for her during the day when I'm working, and what a great education and learning experience she is going to get from this. All of the children that we saw there, from the infants all the way up to the five-year-olds, were very well socialized, behaved, and they all looked like they were having a great time.

To quote the coworker that recommended Primrose to me, this is the best option we could think of next to me staying home permanently. I know McKenna is going to love it!

And in other news, my friend D has totally corrupted me. I am venturing into the evil and addictive world of scrapbooking. I went to a Creative Memories workshop yesterday, D's debut, and she totally lured me in with her tempting wares. I went right home to organize all my photos, and as soon as my first order comes in, I'm starting with my 1997 Cancun trip. That's going to be the warm up. The big tamale will be my wedding photographs, and of course, all of this is in preparation for my KIDS! And I would ideally like to have all my pictures done before I even start on children scrapbooks. We'll see. It's just crazy what having kids does to you!

Other highlights of the day...well, my dog Katie got into our trash yesterday and ate all of the bad boiled eggs that I had made to devil and never got around to it...and today I came home from work to find them on my master bedroom carpet. I don't think I came as close to vomiting during my first trimester morning sickness as I did today. I told P that if he can't clean that carpet, there is NO way I'm sleeping in there tonight, so he's in there right now with the Little Green Machine trying to get the smell out. I don't know what we're going to do if we can't...get new carpet in there, I suppose. It's AWFUL! I have to smell rotting food on my job, not when I sleep.

Oh, and this just in....and no one panic. I had a very scary moment today when I stood up at work and thought my water had broken. Then, while I was waiting for my doctor to call me back, either I started having Braxton Hicks contractions or McKenna just got VERY creative with her kicking. I really thought tonight was it! Finally my doctor called back and told me to go home, change clothes, and sit for an hour and if I had six contractions or more in the next hour, to go straight to Labor and Delivery. Well, obviously I'm still at home, so you know what happened. I think McKenna is just pressing very hard on my bladder right now and causing me to be a tad incontinent.

Okay, I'm off to make something to eat. Somehow, I just can't seem to muster an appetite when I've got this nasty dog vomit smell in the background only slightly masked by the smell of Mexican Vanilla candle. Blah.

Our Chicco Cortina

After another agonizing hour long visit to Babies R Us, we are now the proud owners of a Chicco Cortina travel system. It's a little more than we wanted to spend, but we have gone cheap on absolutely EVERYTHING that we have bought for the baby or gotten stuff used or been given stuff. P really wanted this thing, I got a bonus at work this week for having the highest customer service score in the office (well, I tied anyway), and darn it, we just wanted it!!! It's an investment since we're going to use it for Baby #2, provided that I get through this pregnancy and can actually picture myself going through it again. Ha ha ha.

And what a relief it is to know that we can take McK home from the hospital safely without any midnight trips to Wal-Mart to get a car seat!

We picked up a few other things too...My Brest Friend pillow for breast feeding, a cover for my Boppy pillow I got at my shower this week, some bibs on clearance, and then we went to Kinko's and bought the stuff for the baby announcements. My goal before my daughter arrives is to have all of my Christmas cards done and all of the baby announcement envelopes addressed so that is done...because I don't want to be worrying about all that stuff later.

Oh, and guess how you know that you look like you're ready to pop???

The cashier at Babies R Us asks if you want a cart to take your bag out to your car that has nothing more in it than a pillow and some bibs. I looked at him like he was nuts.

I spent all day today until our trip to Babies R Us lying in bed reading my pregnancy books and watching television. It was FABULOUS. I felt like a million bucks after resting all day. I understand now why they tell expectant moms to rest in the ninth month...because it will truly help!

The hardest piece of baby equipment to buy

I bought my Honda Accord about seven years ago from a dealership in town. I remember it very well. I was so dead set on buying an Accord that I did all my research ahead of time, picked out the color, etcetera, so when we got to the Honda dealership, all I had to do was make sure they had the one I wanted with all the features I wanted, test drive it, negotiate the price and financing, and sign the papers. I think it took less than an hour. And I absolutely love that car. One of the best investments I ever made, and it has been fully paid off for about two years with less than 70,000 miles on it currently.

If only buying a travel system for my daughter was that easy.

It took us about ten minutes to decide on what crib and changing table set we wanted at Target. I spent one evening researching breast pumps and ordered one online. Everything else that we have bought for the nursery and for the baby has been a relatively simple decision and one that we agreed on with ease. Deciding which travel system (aka combination infant car seat and stroller) we want is very hard.

We have now spent about six shopping trips agonizing over this decision...four trips to Babies R Us and two to Target. You should see us...P takes every one of them off the shelf, looks over every inch of the system, pushes it around, puts it down, picks it up, pulls it into a standing position, takes it apart, you name it. The Babies R Us guy that walked by us tonight asked if we needed any help, and P just replied, "Just doing some test drives." Uh, YEAH. I thought we were definitely going to buy one tonight, but at the last minute, we ended up walking out with P muttering something about doing some further research online and checking out reviews of Chicco systems.

And the funniest thing is, having the infant car seat is the ONE thing that we absolutely have to have before we bring McKenna home from the hospital! And yet we can't make ourselves get it! I wonder if it's a mental thing? At the rate we are going, P will be running out to Babies R Us while I'm in labor to get one if we don't decide on one soon.

In other news...I guess my daughter decided that I needed some relief, because she dropped significantly last night. Apparently it's normal for babies in first pregnancies to drop several weeks before labor, so she's just getting ready. It was heaven this morning when I woke up...the area below my bustline was soft and pliable, I could actually breathe comfortably, and I went to the office with a SMILE, can you imagine that?

I had no idea it would be short-lived though. Now, instead of jabbing my ribs with her feet, she's jabbing the bottom of my ribcage and my lungs with her feet....at least I think that's what she's doing. I have pressure now in a new place, and I can feel little hard spots all over my midsection. I came home from work with huge cankles again, my wrists are aching, I had hot flashes all night, and I just can't get comfortable no matter what. So I'm back to being whiny again. At least I got one night of great sleep.

We have an appointment on Monday to check out one more daycare place. It's $100 more a month than our original choice, so I'd say they'd have to dazzle us. They come highly recommended though, so I'm looking forward to meeting with them. P's office is also giving us a baby shower the last week of October, so that should be fun, even though we really don't need anything else at this point other than gift cards to Babies R Us to use on diapers after I decide which brand I like best. I've bought three small packages for now...Pampers, Luvs and Huggies, and I figure once she's here and I've tested them on her to figure out what the best ones are for her, I'll send P to Babies R Us to get a case of them.

I have absolutely NO plans this weekend other than trying to clean up the house since it's slipped a bit (me working from the office is really biting into my cleaning time), working on writing my Christmas cards (since I know I won't have time to do them later) and getting the stuff we need to do our baby announcements (again, since I know I won't have time to do them later). Oh, and debating between whether or not I'd rather have the doctor induce me the second week of November, waiting it out until she's ready to come on her own, or willing my water to break and labor to start ALL by itself right now. I really don't want her to come in October since it'll really mess up my return to work plan, but I actually dreamed last night about giving birth and what it would feel like not to be pregnant anymore. (So what if I dreamed I gave birth to a toddler who could walk and talk?) Not having this pressure on my midsection would be just heavenly.

Ta ta.

And this just in...

Dallas woman cries so hard she gives herself a nosebleed when Wendy's puts chives on her potato when she CLEARLY asked for a plain potato.

Dallas woman's husband's response: Picks up potato. Walks out door. Drives to Wendy's to get new potato. Drives home wondering when his sane rational wife will return and this hormonal mess of a pregnant woman on a roller coaster will vacate.

Woman in Arkansas gives birth to sixteenth child?!?

I had to really blink when I read that story today on Yahoo.

I am about at the most miserable point right now that I've ever been at with this pregnancy. I'm hot. I'm exhausted. I'm hurting in various ways. I feel like I ate a huge breakfast 24 hours a day...and that breakfast has legs and arms that treat my rib cage like a punching bag. If you are really in the mood to read the gory details, I posted the intimate details in my fertility diary here but definitely read at your own risk and I am NOT responsible if you decide after reading my entry from today that you never ever want to conceive a child. (Dad, this is a warning...don't go there! Just take my word for it!) Don't get me wrong...I am SO excited about my daughter's arrival and about having a baby and life beyond myself, but I am so ready for her to be out of my body it's just insane. A coworker put it best today at the office...she said that her last two weeks she was so desperate for her doctor to induce labor she told him that if he didn't schedule her for induction, she would induce herself! And now, I can understand that feeling...castor oil, anyone? And as much as my husband, God love him, is trying to understand, he really can't understand the weight of the pressure that I feel right now...in less than a month, I am going to push a whole other PERSON out of my body hopefully with no pharmaceutical assistance, cutting or stitching needed and then prepare my body to be her sole source of nutrition for at least six months. It's really weighing on my mind right now. And I am SO tired of talking about my pregnancy at the office. I had read a book a while ago that said that you know when you are ready to give birth when you realize that you are SICK TO DEATH of telling people your due date.

Very true.

And then I read this story about this woman who has given birth SIXTEEN TIMES!? And wants MORE kids? Yikes. I'm sitting here wondering how I'm going to keep my wits about me for the next five weeks (if I go that long) and she's already talking about getting pregnant again?????

I'm in the middle of reading Breastfeeding for Dummies and The Girlfriend's Guide to the First Year of Motherhood and I would DEFINITELY recommend that latter to anyone that wants to know what they have signed up for, and the former to anyone already nervous about breast feeding that wants to become MORE nervous still. I had my first official panic attack on Sunday when I read in that book that being induced with pitocin, having an epidural OR having a Caesarean can all affect your ability to breastfeed or your child's ability to latch on properly.

And the more I read these books, the more I realize that my goal to get to the gym two hours a day MIGHT be overshooting it just a tad. All you mothers out there, you have my permission to nod and say "I told you so" and laugh heartily now at my naivete. Yes, I know not what I say or what road I have ahead of me. But if I'm already waking up six to seven times a night NOW, isn't it good practice for when I'm breastfeeding?

Okay, enough whining. If you want to read more whining, go to my fertility diary.

Some good news that I will share. My coworkers at work gave me a baby shower today...and I was amazed at what I got. I received a high chair, a Diaper Genie, a couple of baby rattles, a hooded towel/washcloth set, and a Lily doll that speaks Spanish and English. Great stuff. It was fun, even if I was too exhausted to really make a fuss and look ecstatic about what I got!

They also announced the winners for this Customer Service contest that they ran in our office from June through September. Customer service is a HUGE deal in our office, so this was big. I tied for first with another adjuster...we each got a $300 spot bonus and an extra day of vacation in 2006.

I found out that since my five-year anniversary is in March 2006, I am eligible for three weeks of vacation next year instead of the two I thought I got, which is awesome since I want to take two weeks off at the first of the year.

I talked to my boss about possibly working the last two weeks of December from home rather than taking them unpaid, and he was extremely receptive, which I was happy about. It may be a moot point if McKenna doesn't arrive early, but I'm glad that they are at least willing to discuss it. The thought of taking any time from work unpaid just irritates me, plain and simple.

So that's what's going on with me. What's wrong with me, you might ask? Clearly, a lot.

We did hit Babies R Us on Saturday for a MASSIVE shopping trip and Target (twice) and I think we have everything we need now. I now feel like we could bring a child into this house and she would live like a newborn should...provided, of course, that the Milk Machine (otherwise known as ME) can figure out what she's doing and DO IT. The only thing we still haven't gotten is a travel system. We have now inspected and tried out every travel system that Babies R Us and Target carry, and I think we've narrowed it down to this Quatro Tour Mocha thing by Graco....now we just have to get ourselves TO Babies R Us and get it.

The nursery looks fabulous. No two ways about it. I want P to assemble our swing and put together our bouncer, and then I will take some pictures and share. It really looks great. I find myself going in there almost every night just to walk around and look at the room...and picture it complete with a baby.

Nesting

I can't believe it's been almost a week since I updated my blog. Where has the time gone?

Monday my supervisor called and told me that they decided that they are not going to give me any more claims of my own, but in turn, I needed to start coming into the office whenever I wasn't riding with other adjusters so I could be there to help with paperwork, pay supplemental claims, train new adjusters, answer questions, answer phone calls, etcetera...kind of like a catch-all whatever job. I wasn't excited about starting to go into the office, but considering that all I'm doing at home is staring at the walls and watching the clock and the calendar, I figured it might be good to keep me busy this last month and pass the time. Which it did. This week seemed to fly by, so I guess it's working, and it is nice to see everyone at the office, but I'm getting really tired of answering "are you ready to have this baby?" questions. I had heard when you reached eight months that you got really tired of being pregnant, and jeez, is it TRUE! Anyway, so that's where I was all week this week. It wasn't bad, although I'm not terribly comfortable sitting at my desk, and it's hard to get up early in the morning since my supervisor wants me to be at work between 8-8:30. That's usually what time I'm rolling out of bed. Plus, since I'm still going out in the field a little bit, every day I make sure I've got an extra change of clothes so I can change when I get back to the office. It's kind of annoying.

The other annoying thing this week that happened was that I lost my voice. Completely. I couldn't speak above a whisper. It was SO annoying. And it was accompanied by a horrible hacking cough. I called my doctor's office Monday and begged for some relief. They told me to take Robitussin. I did that, and it helped a little bit, but not much. Finally on Wednesday when I went to see my doctor, she told me to get a 12-hour decongestant and take that before bed. Three days later, my voice is totally back and I'm not coughing. I wake up at night feeling TOTALLY parched since it dries you out, but I'll take that over coughing and gagging any day. Guess my doctor is good for some things! She's actually being really cool now that the end is almost here...but I'm being a bad kid. I have a long list of "homework" assignments to complete for her, and I haven't done any of them because I've been so busy...things like preregistering at the hospital so I can just walk in when I'm ready to pop, finding a pediatrician, taking a tour of Labor and Delivery, completing my final cord blood donation paperwork, finalizing my birth plan, etcetera.

Saturday when I was going through all my shower stuff, I threw it all in my baby crib because I wanted to spend time with my friend S and not be organizing my nursery, thinking that I'd get to it the next night or whatever. I was SO tired this week, I didn't get to it until last night. I spent all night last night nesting and organizing the nursery. It was SO much fun. I took all my clothes out and went through them to make sure I had a variety of sizes, which I DO! It's great. (Although I have fifty onesies!) I took all my handmade blankets that I had gotten and hung them on the crib walls kind of like crib bumper pads sort of. I just couldn't bear to put them all away since they are so beautiful. So you kind ladies that made me blankies, A, my stepmom, T, and my mom, they are all hanging with honor. P finished the trundle drawer for under the crib, so all the other blankets are folded neatly under there. I also hung the antique mirror that I got from my friend at work above the bookshelf so that looks neat there, washed the crib sheets I got from my friend E in Florida and put one on (they are a PERFECT fit by the way, E, thank you!), washed the onesie that I bought for McKenna for her coming-home, washed the pack and play sheet I got from my dad and stepmom, the Finding Nemo blanket that I had in the crib, and everything has that great baby smell from the baby All that I bought to wash the stuff in. It's fantastic. I feel somewhat organized...

...and then again I feel like I still need SO MUCH STUFF! After I was finished playing around in there, I came in HERE and worked on my registries. Now that the shower is over, I'm using them as a shopping list for what I really need. I went through and deleted everything off that I've already gotten and ALL the clothes, since I clearly don't need any more of those. I added some stuff to both lists and deleted some things that I've decided that I don't need so much, and now I have a list of things that I must have, and some things that can clearly wait, like a high chair. So today, we're hitting Babies R Us. We have a few duplicate items that we received from our registry at Target, and one of them is a play yard that I got from one of my very close friends at the shower. I agonized over asking her for the gift receipt, but unfortunately Target will NOT accept returns without it, and I just don't need two play yards. But it's fine...K understood and is going to give us the gift receipt tomorrow night, and then we'll go back to Target and return it and the other two duplicates, and get some stuff that we really need. I selected some crib bedding last night on the Target website that I think I'm going to have to order online, and it's really cute, so I'm going to order that probably within the next week so I have it. I really only want one or two sets of crib bumpers, but I've heard from a lot of experienced moms that it's a good idea to have a couple of crib sheets. So far, I have four courtesy of my buddy E!

The other thing that has happened this week is that I'm getting reinspired to start Body For Life again. My old workout buddy S (same one that gave me the mirror) asked me this week if I would be interested in working out with her again once McKenna is here. My answer? A resounding YES. P had promised me two hours of gym time every day as soon as I was able to start lifting again, and the idea of doing it with a girlfriend and having some adult conversation just makes that seem even better and more appealing. I'm not relishing getting back to the gym and showing the same guys my cellulitey butt and thighs that saw me at my very very leanest and ripped when I was squatting over 120#, but it has to be done, and my goal that I've set is to be back in my prepregnancy clothes by summer, which gives me about six months. I know some things I won't be able to wear, like my old bras and probably some of my shirts since I'm going to breast-feed, and chances are my abs will never be that ripped ever again, but I really want to do this and get back down to a size and a "me" that I'd be happy with. My replacement A yesterday asked to see my transformation pictures, which I haven't looked at in a LONG time, and I showed her...and she was absolutely amazed. And frankly, so was I! I never thought that I myself would inspire myself, but it was like looking at photographs of a different person.

Now, I'm starting over. And this time during my transformation, I'm going to do it better. No freaky food habits or weighing my food. No obsession. No free day free-for-alls. Reasonable, sensible eating, and enough calories so that my milk production stays up, McKenna gets what she needs as do I, and my muscles can regenerate. Although, I can still feel them under the fat...I know they are there. I've done a good job eating a good amount of protein so that my muscles won't cannabalize. To be honest, if I can just make it to the gym four times a week minimum and start cutting some of the idiotic calories out, I'll be ecstatic. I know this weight gain happens to everyone when they get pregnant, and there's nothing I can do about it now being so close to giving birth, but next time I get pregnant, I'm going to do it better and eat much better so I don't pack on the pounds. And I'm not stacking pregnancy weight either...I told P that I don't want to even talk about trying to conceive #2 until I have lost this pregnancy weight. I want to be totally healthy and in shape again for when I get pregnant again.

So...that's what's going on in my world. The baby is getting very big, my feet hurt a lot, I'm tired a lot, but I have my very good days (yesterday was one of them) and then my very bad days. But it's going okay and I'm hanging in there. I only have a few more weeks to go. P and I talked about it last night and I think we are going to ask my doctor if we have a choice on "when" to induce me on the evening of November 3 so I can give birth hopefully on November 4, or November 10 so I can give birth on November 11...the idea is that P would have the weekend to be home and then wouldn't have to take so much time off work to be with me and can save it for over the holidays in December. So weird to be sitting here talking about scheduling my daughter's arrival into the world, but if this is what I have to do, this is what I have to do!

Oh, I didn't see any guesses on the toilet paper game, but if anyone is curious, it takes twelve squares of toilet paper to wrap around my belly. Thanks, McKenna. *smile*

The most fabulous baby shower ever

Wow. If you had told me 48 hours ago that my baby shower would have been that fabulous and THAT special, I never would have believed you! Amazing how my friends really pulled together and gave me a great afternoon. I really thought the bridal showers that I had before my wedding were amazing, but this...well, this was really something special.

Yesterday was a whirlwind day. It started with S and I waking up at the crack of dawn to make 2 dozen (that's 48 halves) deviled eggs...then we ran out and started our shopping marathon. Since I'm due in like, five weeks, and S is adopting a baby from China next summer, we were totally up for massive baby shopping and I've been saving up since July for this weekend. We hit up all the great secondhand stores in the area...Once Upon a Child and Children's Orchard before the shower, and then Rockabye Bay and Target after the shower (since S was quite appalled that I didn't own ONE diaper or any bath or laundry supplies). In between shopping was THE SHOWER.

It was truly amazing, and I haven't quite grasped the concept yet of how much I have gotten yet. S, P and I spent a good hour taking everything out of bags and sorting it into piles on our dining room table. I added all the stuff that I bought too, but at the end of the day, it was QUITE overwhelming. Check it out:



The most amazing thing was the CLOTHES! Look at the pile! This is in ADDITION to all the stuff I already have. This is going to be one well-dressed kiddo, that's for sure:



And the toys and other stuff were incredible!



I don't have enough room to photograph every gift, but I shot just a few pictures of the ones that really were amazing...

A quilt handmade by my mother:



An afghan knitted by a good friend:



A mirror that was found at an antique mall:



A Finding Nemo birth announcement...all we need is the birthdate and name!



A special "oceanic" cake:



And then the really great yummy cake provided by the hostess:



The group of us huddled around the chow table...my spinach dip was a hit!



The girls were playing a game...to guess how many squares of toilet paper fit around my waist. Anyone brave enough to take a guess on how many that wasn't there? Post your guess and I'll post the answer in my next blog:



Some shots of me opening presents with the BEST shower buddy and friend a girl can have...not only did this girl finish the deviled eggs yesterday so I could shower, but she helped me load the car and unload the car TWICE, wrote down my list of gifts so I can write my thank you notes, and helped me sort everything into piles yesterday. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, S! I can't wait to be there at YOUR shower to help you celebrate your daughter...and I WILL be there by hook or by crook!



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P was breathing down my neck to get me to finish this entry so I can get ready to go with him to my father-in-law's house for dinner, so I have to cut this short, but I wanted to post these pictures before I left and also say a big fat THANK YOU to everyone out there that came to the shower, assisted with the shower, encouraged me this week and gave good feedback and advice, sent a gift, whatever. Anything that you have done to help me celebrate the birth of my first child has been very special to me and I thank you!